Home
by coldqueen
Summary: Episode TagThe Return Part One. As the circumstances of the reunion with her friends stack around her, Elizabeth pushes it all out of her mind, and focuses on what's important. Him.


Title:** Home**

Pairing: Ronon/Elizabeth

Rating: T

Summary: **Spoilers for The Return Part One**. The team is reunited, problems are on the horizon, and Elizabeth can't help but put that out of her mind and focus on what's important...

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The night was dark and the hours long, but Elizabeth didn't mind. She and her three co-conspirators had braved the gate and made it through, and they deluded themselves by thinking that it was all for the best of Atlantis, not to mention General O'Neill and the others captured there. In truth, the reasons for going AWOL and breaking many laws and possibly being imprisoned had everything to do with greed and selfish-ness. 

Rodney McKay told himself that he did this to keep the fools around him from blowing up one of the biggest scientific excavation sites of his time, but in truth, he missed Atlantis. He missed the people who'd surrounded him on a daily basis, irritating him beyond end, but often having their purposes. He missed the glory and self-satisfaction that saving the day got him. He missed being needed. Back on Earth, geniuses in the government were a dime a dozen, and he was lost in the shuffle. On Atlantis, he was one of a kind, and was treated like it with some fear, some awe, and some elbow-in-stomach ribbing. Rodney told himself that he did this for others, but he'd come for himself as well.

John Sheppard knew exactly why he was doing this, and wasn't ashamed of it. He was selfish and cowardly and didn't want to face another day on Earth. He wanted the edge back, the exhilaration that echoed his every movement, and the ramifications that his actions caused. He'd take the punishment of this, gladly, because in the end, he was living again. On Earth, the most action he got was test-piloting a new jet every couple months. Most of what Earth represented to him was repetition. File this paperwork, do that action, shake that hand. A lot of cordiality and affairs, and none of the adventures he'd grown used to. The enemies he fought in the Milky Way were not truly his enemies. Sure, the Ori were bad, and the Goauld were always good for a good fire fight, but they weren't _his_ enemies. They were Earth's enemies. The Wraith were his. He ached to fight them almost every second of everyday. He envisioned them in his sparring time. He came back here, because Pegasus was where his fight was. John never ran from a fight.

Carson Beckett was perhaps the most altruistic of the quartet. He returned to Atlantis to aid his friends and his enemies alike. Such a primitive galaxy, fighting for so long and hard against each other that they had no time to advance themselves medically. Diseases easily cured were rampant, as well as idiocy regarding weaponry. No thoughts to radiation or fallout, or even damage to the planets as the war waged on. Carson believed that he, more than any other warrior, leader, or supporter, would be needed here. His skills were vast, and his soul was light. Carson was the heart of Pegasus, one of few who lived there whose only goal was to heal, be they human or Wraith. Under the scalpel, all patients looked alike.

Dr. Elizabeth Weir, deposed leader of the Atlantis expedition, had perhaps the most reason and greed of returning to this time and space. The guilt of her thoughts was pushed aside as she stepped back onto Pegasus galaxy soil. The stars shined ahead, and the path lay dark, but she didn't care. She was home.

The planet Earth was not and would never again be her home. Atlantis, with all it's technology and familiarity, was not even her home. Her home wasn't a place or a time. It was a person, and she'd been lost without him. She couldn't eat. She couldn't work. She couldn't even maintain any semblance of the relationships she'd had before him. She slept mostly. In sleep was the only time she'd ever been able to have peace, because in sleep, she was with him.

Just days ago, she'd talked herself into it. She'd accept the job with the United Nations; she'd call people, be friendly, have affairs, and would move on with her life. Then, there'd been a knock at her door, and Carson was on the other side. How to explain it? The rush of nostalgia and all the memories it'd brought back. In that moment, she'd been closer than she ever thought possible to telling someone. She'd smiled and the words had been on her lips. _I am in love with Ronon and I want to go home._

How childish that had sounded in her mind, a cry from a small girl who wanted her teddy bear back. That, more than anything, made her stop those words and shove them back down. She was a woman, a strong woman, who did not need a man to make her happy.

Oh, how, she craved him though.

Carson and the others had worried for her, she knew. The weeks of silence, of pouting in her apartment had taken its toll on her and her life. She made the first steps to starting anew and went to dinner with them, though just seeing them made her scream somewhere inside.

If she'd only known that the small step hadn't even been necessary. Within days, the situation in Atlantis had driven them all to extremes, and they'd done what could possibly become unforgivable. They stole away in the night, through the gate, and back to Pegasus. Even now, she could hear the words of reprimand echoing in her head.

As the rest of the team exited the Puddle Jumper behind her, Elizabeth smiled. She was back in familiar territory, and all the vulnerability of the memories slid away. Beside her, she could see the same easing of tension in the shoulders of her team. They were all relieved to be back, something Stargate Command had never quite understood.

Slowly, given the darkness around them and also given the weapon friendly company they were seeking, the four of them made their way through the forest, heading for the encampment not far from the Stargate. Teyla's people had moved to this planet when the Ancients had evicted everyone from Atlantis. It was a nice planet, a good deal out of the usual Wraith hunting lines. Not entirely out of it, but as far as one could get and still be in the Pegasus Galaxy. Elizabeth had picked the planet herself, a way of quieting the mother hen that fretted over her friends.

They were quiet as they walked, the silence welcoming them. Earth was so noisy, at all times. Always someone going by to somewhere, always something happening. Here, so far from civilization, it was quiet, unsettling quiet, expectant quiet. Maybe their nerves were all shot, but just maybe, the fates themselves were watching this grand reunion and smirking just a bit by the way their sense of humor often made things turn.

The lights ahead gave them warning, but actually walking into the small village made everything seem so real. These people had moved on, started to build again, so used to living and losing that they made it look easy. They waved from their homes as if they'd seen the group everyday. They went on, whereas she'd remained frozen in her body for so long.

A few of the people, knowing who they sought, pointed to the other side of the camp, and to the small hut that was lit brightly from within and was surrounded by guards. Apparently, they'd arrived on a night of some meeting. From the few words Elizabeth bothered to pick out from conversations around her, it was with the Genii.

Quickly, they were standing by that hut and watching as Teyla and Ronon stepped out, and Elizabeth swayed on her feet just a bit, her vision hazy as she suddenly thought such terrible things. She'd remained frozen, waiting for him, but what if he had not? What if, in the weeks since their depart, he'd found someone new? Someone else to hold, someone else to touch? What if she was once again left out in the cold? Could she take it again?

As she watched Teyla and the others hug and greet one another, she found herself staring into space, just past the hut where the shadows lingered under the trees. She could feel him step closer, but she couldn't, not for anything in the world, make herself move. Distantly, she was aware that Teyla, somehow sensing the drama waiting to erupt, covertly moved the men away from the couple, and the guards followed. The tension was great.

The wind moved in his hair, causing one long lock of matted brown to drift into her sight and almost too quick to move she caught in her hand. She held it there and refused to look at him, though the screaming inside her reached a peak. Somewhere out on the edge of her thoughts, Elizabeth realized that it wasn't a screaming, not really. It was a keening, like of some wild animal scenting the air and calling for her mate.

Ronon stood there, tall and dark, his eyes hooded as he watched Elizabeth stand there, fragile and so small when compared to his six foot four frame. He'd often found it difficult to sleep at night, and watched her as she slept, her face so pale next to her dark hair. He'd never needed much sleep, but he knew from experience that Elizabeth had liked long nights, filled with sleep and him. From the vaguely purple tints beneath her eyes, he knew that she had slept, though he hoped not well. He certainly hadn't slept well, catching only a bare five hours a night, tormenting himself with thoughts of the woman who left.

Their goodbyes had been said privately, rather than publicly at the impromptu "Adieu" party that John had convinced everyone to come to. Elizabeth had stayed for only half an hour, before returning to her quarters to pack. Ronon hadn't given a reason for leaving, had just followed her out and to her quarters. Silently, he'd watched as she packed her things, her hands lingering as she sifted out the few things he'd left in her quarters. Two undershirts, a bracelet, and a jar of hair gel, for smoothing down the frizzies that popped up in the morning. He'd used to not care about his hair, but Elizabeth enjoyed smoothing it down for him. She'd sit him between her legs, and she'd run her fingers through the dreads, using deft fingers to push down the curly short hairs. She'd usually taken more time than was necessary, but he'd never begrudged her it.

He'd watched her as she separated their things, and finally, packing done, she'd sat beside him on the bare bed, it's white sheets and pale blue comforter uniform. She'd set the undershirts and things between them and suddenly, to Ronon, it'd seemed like river between two cliffs, impassable. He was losing someone again, and after seven years it hurt just the same. They both knew there would be no long distance love for them. He couldn't go, and she couldn't stay.

They'd sat there all night, a vast difference than what he'd intended. He'd wanted to make love to her, to put his mark on her, to make her remember him and what they'd shared. Instead, they'd tormented each other by not touching each other at all, and when he left in the morning, he didn't take his things. He set them inside a box, and smiled. Elizabeth had watched him and not stopped him, allowing herself to take a small part of him with her.

Now, here they stood, frozen in the deepening night, the fires of camp not far, yet too far to light their way. She held his hair in her hand, and he held her heart, but they couldn't move. Couldn't say a damn thing to each other. They stood there.

The wind brought her scent to his senses, and he ducked closer, running his face along her crown, the smell of gardenias and vanilla mixing and he was home. He ran his hands along her arms, to her hands, and drew them to his lips, kissing them softly. Elizabeth finally looked at his face and her mouth opened a bit as she gasped. She shook her hands from his and grasped his face.

The kiss they shared was brief but resplendent in emotion. They didn't need to speak; they needed only touch and sense. When the dawn found them, they were still standing there, still watching, almost as if both thought the other would fade away. Another dream to remember? Another memory to torment?

Needless to say, neither faded with the light, and only made things clearer. Elizabeth smiled at him as the people began to wake around them. "I think," she whispered, her voice hoarse from not being used in so many hours, "that next time, I'll stay."

Ronon nodded. "Next time, I think I'll go."

Elizabeth slid her hand into his and allowed him to pull her to his tent. "We'll meet in the middle?"

Inside, Ronon dropped to his knees, pushing his face into her stomach, nuzzling aside the clothing in his way. "Agreed."

For a while, before they'd go and fight the replicators and free Atlantis, and deal with the repercussions of their actions, Ronon and Elizabeth found their happy place again.


End file.
